itcamefromthesky

Fuckin’ Rachel

So one time, when I was in 2nd grade, a classmate of mine, Rachel, gave my teacher a brown paper bag and said, “Here Mrs. Rhodes, I made you a brownie.” Mrs. Rhodes said thank you and then opened the bag and pulled out a brown, lowercase letter “e” cut out of construction paper. Rachel laughed.

I didn’t like that, so the next day I handed Mrs. Rhodes a brown paper bag with an actual brownie in it and said “Here Mrs. Rhodes, I got you a brownie”. She grabbed it from me and without opening the bag, immediately threw it in the trash and said, “Nice try, Alan.”

Then I went to my desk and cried.